a post that was written in February 2011.......... kept in draft.. finally posted

Dear blog..
Its been a long time i have not updated my blog .. i have been busy .. forcing myself to be busy.. keeping my life busy.. or sometimes, i dont have mood to update my blog ..

Dear blog.. this new semester, i bought spoiler for my lovely car & i bought a guitar .. actually, my friend did take the picture while i was buying those things, . well, i admit, those 2 things seriously causing my financial unstable ... but for me, those 2 things is quite important for me..

 Dear blog..
the first task that i did when i enter unimas for this new semester was, i became a Liaison Officer for Minggu Aluan Pelajar December Intake.. it was a great experienced ..

L.O + MPP + Students new intake ... all the L.O's are very close together.. especially L.O kolej cempaka... miss u guys..

Then ..

lots of things happen to me.. also , we did go to pasir pandak beach ..... in hope we could see the sunset.. but then ... the day was cloudy .. haha.... first.. we go there.. eat kfc .. ( we bekal KFC)... haha... then... we bergambar-gambar.... until maghrib... we solat at the nearest surau.. then.. we go to airport and have our dinner there.. i eat spaghetti.. so delicious.... LOL...

We didnt manage to capture a nice sunset... bit its ok.. the picture i am holding my phone is.. i am 3g call my nephew .. showing them the beach..

on the new year eve ..

i was fetching my friend at the airport, on the way back, we watch the fireworks on the night sky .. even it was rainy ..the fireworks looks soooooo beautiful ....

i know the smile is quite fake... i miss someone sooo much at that time...

wahai encik blog .. hari kami pegi pasang spoiler kat kreta aku, kami kena tahan polis sbab tinted aku gelap (konon!!!) ..  sebenarnya .. polis tu yg bodo! hari mendung, mesti la nmpak gelap! lepas tu, aku mintak alat untuk check tahap tinted, tp, polis yang bodo tu cakap tunggu JPJ, sbab only JPJ yg boleh check, aku cakap la , ok, aku tunggu JPJ sekarang, tp, polis yang BODO tu cakap , kalau JPJ datang esok, kreta aku kena tahan sampai esok.... betapa BODO nya polis tu, nk tahan, tapi, x cukup alat & ahli.... BODOH tahap dewa! patut la setakat jadi polis yang tahan tepi jalan .. pangkat tak naik2 !! kalau aku nak tunggu JPJ, apa aku nak pakai balik unimas?? then, polis tu pun cakap, kalau aku bukak tinted tu sekarang jugak, aku boleh lepas, .. dengan perasaan yang menyampah tahap gila babi, aku bukak tinted kat cermin belakang kereta aku ..

Dear blog..
just like what i had wrote here before, i hope, things would be happier for me, the miserable things would end, but NO!!!!!!!! it did not end yet !!!!  for the last few month in this new semester, i've been struggling to face this irritating thing .. everyday, i wish this can easily resolved, easily disappear, & i can move on with my life happily ................................................

Dear blog ..
there are few times, i wish i lost my memories .. but, i wish i lost only 'that' part .. mayB things will be easier when i lost my memories .. i dont know .. it seems like, almost the whole 2nd year of my study at unimas is striving to face the hurtful thing .... i wish this could be ended .. i wish .. i really wish ..

Dear blog ..

i always afraid to face every single minute of my life .. because, when there are moment where i am happy, the moment after that, there will be something that will hurt my feeling , but , i dont have option rather than face it ..

my dear blog ..
i've been joking .. & smiling  around with my friends like crazy .. just to hide my feelings .. but there are the time where i cant fake my smile anymore.. at that time, i feel so guilty to my friends .. i wish i can laugh, smile & joking around but .. no .. i cant fake it anymore .. i am just so sorry .. sometimes, i am the most talkative person , all that is just because i wanna hide it ..

my dear blog ..
until when i am hurting like this? until when i will hurt? i am not me anymore .. my friend have said to me .. "bila lagi ko mo ada girlfriend, sein?" .. "kalau ko ada girlfriend, ada la tempat ko bermanja, tempat ko kongsi masalah, ada orang care dengan ko" ............................................................................

oh my dear friends ........ how i can have a girlfriend if my heart is completely closed for anyone , completely sealed until there the time i hate love so much.... how come i can share my problems with my girlfriend if my problem is about someone that i love????? how come i can tell all the pathetic things to that girl : that all the sad story is about my hurtful love towards someone else??????????

~ 1st wrote in february... kept in draft for about 4 month .... finally i had a chance to edit & add picture to this post.... this is what happen to me around February 2011 since December 2010.... ~~ i post this on 0101am 27 July 2011~~

New Song for my Blog....... embrace the lyrics///// LOL

[Bruno Mars - Chorus]

This one's for you and me
Living out our dreams
We're all right where we should be
Lift my arms out wide
I open my eyes
And now all I wannna see
Is a sky full of lightets, a sky full of lighters

[Eminem]

By the time you hear this I will have already spiralled up
I would never do nothing to let you cowards fuck my world up
If I was you, I would duck, or get struck like lightening,
Fighters keep fighting, put your lighters up, point em’ skyward uh
Had a dream I was king, I woke up, still king
This rap game’s nipple is mine for the milking,
Till nobody else even fucking feels me, till’ it kills me
I swear to god I’ll be the fucking illest in this music
There is or there ever will be, disagree?
Feel free, but from now on I’m refusing to ever give up
The only thing I ever gave’s using no more excuses
Excuse me if my head is too big for this building
And pardon me if I’m a cocky prick but you cocks are slick
Poppin shit on how you flipped ya life around, crock-o-shit
Who you dicks try to kid, flipped dick, you did the opposite
You stayed the same, cause cock backwards is still cock you pricks
I love it when I tell em shove it
Cause it wasn’t that long ago when Marshall sat, luster lacked, lustered
Cuz he couldn’t cut mustard, muster up nothing
Brain fuzzy, cause he’s buzzin’, woke up from that buzz
Now you wonder why he does it, how he does it
Wasn’t cause he had buzzards circle around his head
Waiting for him to drop dead, was it?
Or was it, cause them bitches wrote him off
Little hussy ass, cause f-ck it, guess it doesn’t matter now, does it
What difference it make?
What it take to get it through your thick skulls
As if this aint some bullshit
People don’t usually come back this way
From a place that was dark as I was in
Just to get to this place
Now let these words be like a switch blade to a haters rib cage
And let it be known from this day forward
I wanna just say thanks cause your hate is what gave me the strength
So let em bic’s raise cause I came with 5’9′ but I feel like I’m 6’8″

[Bruno Mars - Chorus]

This one's for you and me
Living out our dreams
We're all right where we should be
Lift my arms out wide
I open my eyes
And now all I wannna see


Is a sky full of lightets, a sky full of lighters

[Royce Da 5'9]

By the time you hear this I’ll probably already be outtie
I advance like going from toting iron to going and buying 4 or 5 of the homies the iron man Audi
My daddy told me slow down, boy, you goin to blow it
And I aint gotta stop the beat a minute
To tell Shady I love him the same way that he did Dr Dre on the Chronic
Tell him how real he is or how high I am
Or how I would kill for him for him to know it
I cried plenty tears, my daddy got a bad back
So it’s only right that I right till he can march right into that post office and tell em to hang it up
Now his career’s Lebron’s jersey in 20 years
I’ll stop when I’m at the very top
You shitted on me on your way up
It’s ’bout to be a scary drop
Cause what goes up must come down
You going down on something you don’t wanna see like a hairy box
Every hour, happy hour now
Life is wacky now
Used to have to eat the cat to get the pussy
Now I’m just the cats meooww, ow
Classic cow, always down for the catch weight like Pacquiao
Ya’ll are doomed
I remember when T-Pain aint wanna work with me
My car starts itself, parks itself and autotunes
Cause now I’m in the Aston
I went from having my city locked up
To getting treated like Kwame Kilpatrick
And now I’m fantastic
Compared to a weed high
And y’all niggas just gossipin’ like bitches on a radio and TV
See me, we fly
Y’all buggin out like Wendy Williams staring at a bee-hive
And how real is that
I remember signing my first deal and now I’m the second best I can deal with that
Now Bruno can show his ass, without the MTV awards gag


[Bruno Mars - Bridge]


You and I know what it's like to be kicked down
Forced to fight
But tonight we’re alright
So hold up your light
Let it shine

[Bruno Mars - Chorus]

Cuz this one's for you and me
Living out our dreams
We're all right where we should be
Lift my arms out wide
I open my eyes
And now all I wannna see
Is a sky full of lightets, a sky full of lighters

Dedicated to everyone... move on with our life everyday & make the sky full of lighters!!