a post that was written in February 2011.......... kept in draft.. finally posted

Dear blog..
Its been a long time i have not updated my blog .. i have been busy .. forcing myself to be busy.. keeping my life busy.. or sometimes, i dont have mood to update my blog ..

Dear blog.. this new semester, i bought spoiler for my lovely car & i bought a guitar .. actually, my friend did take the picture while i was buying those things, . well, i admit, those 2 things seriously causing my financial unstable ... but for me, those 2 things is quite important for me..

 Dear blog..
the first task that i did when i enter unimas for this new semester was, i became a Liaison Officer for Minggu Aluan Pelajar December Intake.. it was a great experienced ..

L.O + MPP + Students new intake ... all the L.O's are very close together.. especially L.O kolej cempaka... miss u guys..

Then ..

lots of things happen to me.. also , we did go to pasir pandak beach ..... in hope we could see the sunset.. but then ... the day was cloudy .. haha.... first.. we go there.. eat kfc .. ( we bekal KFC)... haha... then... we bergambar-gambar.... until maghrib... we solat at the nearest surau.. then.. we go to airport and have our dinner there.. i eat spaghetti.. so delicious.... LOL...

We didnt manage to capture a nice sunset... bit its ok.. the picture i am holding my phone is.. i am 3g call my nephew .. showing them the beach..

on the new year eve ..

i was fetching my friend at the airport, on the way back, we watch the fireworks on the night sky .. even it was rainy ..the fireworks looks soooooo beautiful ....

i know the smile is quite fake... i miss someone sooo much at that time...

wahai encik blog .. hari kami pegi pasang spoiler kat kreta aku, kami kena tahan polis sbab tinted aku gelap (konon!!!) ..  sebenarnya .. polis tu yg bodo! hari mendung, mesti la nmpak gelap! lepas tu, aku mintak alat untuk check tahap tinted, tp, polis yang bodo tu cakap tunggu JPJ, sbab only JPJ yg boleh check, aku cakap la , ok, aku tunggu JPJ sekarang, tp, polis yang BODO tu cakap , kalau JPJ datang esok, kreta aku kena tahan sampai esok.... betapa BODO nya polis tu, nk tahan, tapi, x cukup alat & ahli.... BODOH tahap dewa! patut la setakat jadi polis yang tahan tepi jalan .. pangkat tak naik2 !! kalau aku nak tunggu JPJ, apa aku nak pakai balik unimas?? then, polis tu pun cakap, kalau aku bukak tinted tu sekarang jugak, aku boleh lepas, .. dengan perasaan yang menyampah tahap gila babi, aku bukak tinted kat cermin belakang kereta aku ..

Dear blog..
just like what i had wrote here before, i hope, things would be happier for me, the miserable things would end, but NO!!!!!!!! it did not end yet !!!!  for the last few month in this new semester, i've been struggling to face this irritating thing .. everyday, i wish this can easily resolved, easily disappear, & i can move on with my life happily ................................................

Dear blog ..
there are few times, i wish i lost my memories .. but, i wish i lost only 'that' part .. mayB things will be easier when i lost my memories .. i dont know .. it seems like, almost the whole 2nd year of my study at unimas is striving to face the hurtful thing .... i wish this could be ended .. i wish .. i really wish ..

Dear blog ..

i always afraid to face every single minute of my life .. because, when there are moment where i am happy, the moment after that, there will be something that will hurt my feeling , but , i dont have option rather than face it ..

my dear blog ..
i've been joking .. & smiling  around with my friends like crazy .. just to hide my feelings .. but there are the time where i cant fake my smile anymore.. at that time, i feel so guilty to my friends .. i wish i can laugh, smile & joking around but .. no .. i cant fake it anymore .. i am just so sorry .. sometimes, i am the most talkative person , all that is just because i wanna hide it ..

my dear blog ..
until when i am hurting like this? until when i will hurt? i am not me anymore .. my friend have said to me .. "bila lagi ko mo ada girlfriend, sein?" .. "kalau ko ada girlfriend, ada la tempat ko bermanja, tempat ko kongsi masalah, ada orang care dengan ko" ............................................................................

oh my dear friends ........ how i can have a girlfriend if my heart is completely closed for anyone , completely sealed until there the time i hate love so much.... how come i can share my problems with my girlfriend if my problem is about someone that i love????? how come i can tell all the pathetic things to that girl : that all the sad story is about my hurtful love towards someone else??????????

~ 1st wrote in february... kept in draft for about 4 month .... finally i had a chance to edit & add picture to this post.... this is what happen to me around February 2011 since December 2010.... ~~ i post this on 0101am 27 July 2011~~