Kawan...

My dear blog.. something happen to me last Tuesday.. something that was so irritating my feeling.. something that really hurt my feeling.. how to start this.. hurmmmmm... ok... it began like this.. on that day, my class start at 8 a.m .. & finished at 9 a.m .. after that, i need to settle my mandarin class problem, & i asked my friends to follow me to see the lecturer as they are also in my mandarin class.. my friends planned to go to kuching on that day to buy a few things.. & also to settle a few things before they went to kucing.. while waiting for the lecturer, kindly i told my friends to go 1st cuz i know they got a few things to settle without me with them.. so.. they left....... now.. i am alone there........... but i dont care being a loner there...... then.. one of my friend asked me to follow him to go to a meeting.. but then..... i am not really needed in that meeting, so that , i went back to my faculty.... i sit there while waiting for my friends...... our next class will only start at 1.00p.m..... suddenly.. my sliper broke .. i phone called my friend.. i borrow a sliper from one of my friend & asking them to bring it to faculty.. so that.. i can go to our next class which were held at BS... not at faculty....... after a few hours i waiting.... it was 1 o'clock already........ with my broken sliper, i go to my next class......... it sooooo embrassing .......... when i enter the class. I saw my friend sit comfortably listening to the lecturer........... there...... I WAS REALLY REALLY HURT ........... & texted one of my friend asking why were they didnt go to faculty & gave me the sliper that i asked before..... & there were miscommunication....... so.... it is not their fault.... it is just miscommunication........ but..... i was very2 down at that moment ... 1st... i was left alone waiting for them at faculty for such a long period of time..... then.... i am the only person who havent ate anything from the morning, but all of my friend already have their lunch.......... suddenly, lecturer told me that there will be mandarin class at 5 p.m & all of my friend already planned to not to attend that class.......... to make things worst, my sliper broke & they didnt come to faculty to help me.......... there! MY DAY WAS RUINED! I dont know...... i was really2 down & i dont wanna blame my friends.... i know they didnt mean to make me sad..... they just 'indirectly' left me ...... that day.... i was down & i need someone.... i need someone to make me happy..... to boost me up again.... & i need someone from one of my seven friend........ neither of them ... but.... how could they know i am down when i didnt show that i am down.... so..... again... that was not their fault................................ i dont know...... i was very very down & there was nobody with me... my heart keep telling me to blame my friends but i deny it cuz i love my friend & i know they didnt mean it...... on that afternoon... after the class finished at 3.p.m.... i quickly walked to faculty cuz i dont wanna show my friend how much i was hurt & i dont want them to know that i am down...... i ran into toilet and sit alone in toilet... just to escape from everything..... i cant handle anything anymore on that day...... my day was just too much for me.... too much...... at the same time............... my heart keep telling me to blame friends but still... i deny it.... i kept denying until i am very2 down & suddenly my tears burst out..........!!! oh no!!!!! I am not that easy!!!! i hold my tears!! I hold my heart just to stop my tears from keep flowing through my cheek..! before that.... i already promise with my mentee friends to take our result slip together......... i walk slowly out from the toilet & wait for them...... they walk to me with a very big smile & i force myself to smile............................. the only person who notice my eyes were swollen & get reddish ... & also i cant breath easly bcos of the mucus in my nose were ***a & *a* *a..............***a i guess he didnt know anything.. but *a* *a know what happen to me on that day from the start................... ***a asked me what happen..... i just joking at him, "jangan bah kau bising" ..... just to cover everything....... after taking slip.... they went out to kuching & i left alone at unimas..... i went to my room to change my sliper with shoes... then.... i walked to mandarin class.......... the class that i suppose to attend together with my friends but i come to the class alone............ never mind... i dont care actually......... & i guess.... that is all wanna type here.................................................................. now.... i still deny my heart to blame my friend cuz i know who they are... they are friends who can be my friends in hard time & happy time............. dont jugde my friends just from this blog...