[Down… Tired … Afraid…]

My dear blog.. guess .. this post  aint what am I gonna wrote just like what I’ve promised you before .. I am  not  going to reveal it yet..   my dear blog .. I am afraid .. next week is gonna be a tough week for me and my coursemate .. guess .. I am down again .. I am afraid that I don’t have any enthusiasm to study harder for this coming exam .. my dear blog .. since yesterday .. I’ve been thinking .. I just want to move on .. & I am stucked .. I don’t know, for the last few days, I am doing just fine .. but .. yesterday .. I feel down .. ignoring my feeling from yesterday until now is just like what I’ve experienced before .. I am getting broken into pieces .. I don’t know, when this could be ended.. loving someone is killing me .. i just wanna go far away from here .. to any place so that I can forget ‘someone’ .. I just wanna go far far away & stay there until I forgot about someone .. until I am stable enough to face everything at this current place .. my dear blog .. I just wanna talk directly to that person telling that = I am sorry to have this feeling .. I just can’t control myself .. me neither don’t want this feeling .. but.. what to do .. this is not what I had planned = ***no! that person should never know this***

My dear blog .. I am afraid .. I am getting down .. I am getting down again .. I don’t know what to do .. I am just stuck here………………………… I know .. it is useless to waste my time to have this kind of feeling, to love someone deeply until I am suffering every day, but how? How can I move on.. i wish I can tell you here y am I stuck .. but, can’t tell you here ..

My dear blog .. I am really hoping that i am strong enough to face the next coming exam ... I am really hoping that this ‘unstable’ feeling dont come out during this exam .. but .. I guess .. I am getting down & down …………  I am afraid that I will not do my revision bcos of no enthusiasm … I am afraid that my result will ruin .. aaarrrggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh… I wanna go far away from here .. I wanna stop the time .. until I am ready .. perhaps, my writing here sounds like a pathetic person who cant move, but , I don’t care … I just wrote what I wanna write .. I know how to handle myself …  

My dear bog .. listening to Maher Zain’s songs helps me a lot … but .. ‘someone’ is just my strength to live everyday .. I have my friends who support me everytime .. but .. ‘someone’ is just affecting me too much.. why should I am affected by ‘someone’ soo much like this .. ‘someone’ that would never love me just the way I love ‘someone’ … why should ‘someone’ that I really love is ‘that person’ ..

My dear blog ... I am getting tired again ... I don’t know how to stand up & smile to the world again … my dear blog ... I am tired ... I am tired .. I am tired of loving ‘someone’ ... I need to be strong to face this coming exam … not tired & hurting ...  

_______________________AFRAID THAT IT WILL RUIN MY FINAL EXAM____________________________