Cat rumah..............

my dearest blog.. i just finished painting..... painting area yang sikit je.. bapak suruh cat area yg masih tertinggal..... time aku goleng2 kan roller cat tu kat dinding.. aku termenung.. if my heart can be painted with this paint.. & cover all my misery.. i wanted to paint my heart with a joyful colour .. so that no more sorrow & sadness would be appear .. all that can be seen is the joyful.. the happiness.. all the dirt, the faded colour are all being painted .. & showing the world only the new & fresh colour .. but .. that is only my angan2... not real at all.. so sad... tonite is malam raya .. i wish i am not at home rite now ............................... hurmmmmmm.. everything is sucks ... i hate myself.. i hate everything around me .. that is y i wish i can paint my heart just now .. i just want to enjoy this raya .. but .. a few things make me toooooooooooooooooooo upset .. the major thing that make me disappoint are 2 things ........... "someone" and car problem .................. & few other things.... i know... i should be just cool with all these problem & enjoy the moment .. but.. i just cant fake my smile.. i hate it that i cant enjoy my malam raya... i am just hate myself............................................................................................................................................................................. i wish i can called that person rite now & have a very long conversation until i sleep & tomorrow.. i wake up with a very big smile on my face ........................ T_T .. but .. no!!!!!! that's not gonna happen .. i just wish i can remove this unhappy feeling .. can i?????